Christmas Eve & Its Evolving Traditions

The great thing about family traditions is that just as soon as you think you have one, they need to grow and evolve with the human beings who treasure them. And so it is with Christmas Eve.

I grew up with the tradition of going to bed on Christmas Eve, as the youngest in the household, only to be awoken a short time later by the sound of jingle bells and a ho-ho-ho, signaling Santa had arrived. My mom and dad had a tradition of opening Christmas gifts before going to bed on Christmas Eve.

Somewhere along the way came the tradition of a rich Italian feast on Christmas Eve, despite my mom being Irish and my dad being German. That may have been the influence of their Italian landlord during WWII who shared her cooking skills with my mom; and it probably was solidified by the arrival of my Italian brother-in-law, Paul, who became part of the family in the 1960s.

One of my favorite parts of Christmas was putting up the Nativity scene with my mom. And so a very special treasure in our home today is that very same Nativity, passed down to me when our kids were young. I still can’t part with the particular paper toweling my dad used to carefully wrap each beautiful figure when it was shipped from Florida to Rochester (even though I could never put it away as neatly as he packed it…)

The move for my girls and I from Long Island to Rochester in 1995 introduced us to more serious Italian traditions on Christmas Eve, most notably my mother-in-law Rosemary’s bacalhau (fried, salted cod).

But the biggest thing about Christmas Eve for our blended children—Sarah, Caroline, Laura, and Taylor—was that we had to find a creative solution to when Santa would arrive. And so the tradition began—Santa made our house his first stop so that when our four children woke up together on the morning of December 24, Santa had already come down the chimney and left a note explaining his special early delivery.

This worked especially well for me when I joined the parish ministry at St. Joseph’s and found myself as an active participant at Church for most of the joyous celebrations of the Eucharist at 2:00, 4:00, 6:00, 8:00 and midnight on Christmas Eve, and 9:00 and 11:00 on Christmas morning!

But this year, Taylor is in South Carolina. Laura is making her way home from Maryland. Others are working on Christmas Eve morning. A new tradition needs to evolve.

What better than to go back to the beginning? After we attend Christmas Eve Mass at St. Joseph’s, we will have a late Italian dinner and, still later, Laura, Caroline, Sarah and Ryan, Greg and I (and Cooper AND DAISY, of course) will gather around the tree to exchange gifts.  And thanks to the iPhone, Taylor will be with us via Facetime.

A new tradition in the making? Does it matter? All that’s really needed for a joyful Christmas celebration is lots of love, laughter, patience, and sometimes a bit of creativity. And the light of Christ coming into the world at the center of it all.

Waiting for the sound of jingle bells and a ho-ho-ho.

Christmas blessings!

Prayer for Our Families

Last Advent, it seemed my sisters and I had many things on our minds and in our prayers—hopes and fears and always gratitude for the many ways in which we have been blessed.

Borrowing from a few different sources, I came up with a prayer that we could share, words that would bring us together in prayer even though we live 400 miles apart.

This year my sister Jane is framing the prayer for some of her friends. She got the creative gene that seemed to pass me by and she’s framing them with beautiful scrapbooking paper, colored ink, etc. What I lack in craft skills, hopefully I can make up in my desire to share this prayer beyond my own family to all families who wish to pray together, even when not together.

And while I know all of our prayers were answered in one way or another, and other urgent needs arose over the course of the year, there is no more tangible sign of God’s life and love in our family than Jane’s precious grandson, for whom she so fervently prayed this time last year. Tommy, born this past July, most certainly is the answer to our 2012 Advent prayers. May you know the answer to your prayers with as much joy in the coming year!

Prayer for Our Family

Loving God,

We praise and thank you

for the gift of our beloved parents,

siblings, spouses and loved ones,

children, grandchildren, and

those yet to be born into this world.

We cherish them all.

Surround them with your tender loving care,

teach them to serve one another

in true affection and

to trust in you for all their needs.

We place them all in your care,

knowing that your love for them

is so much greater than our own.

Keep us close to one another in this life

and guide us at the last to our true

and heavenly home in your presence.

Blessed be God and

blessed be our family forever.

Amen.

Blessings!

Cathy

How Can It Be?

Today we celebrate the feast of the Immaculate Conception. It’s a great day to ponder Mary’s response to the angel Gabriel, and to her Lord, in the annunciation narrative from Luke.

“In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.

 And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.”  

But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.  

Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.  Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”  

But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”

And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.”

How can this be? Mary understandably makes the case that she cannot be with child because she has not yet been with a man. What a simple response Gabriel has for her: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.”

I might still have asked, How can this be?

But not Mary. She listens, and listens some more. Finally she hears more amazing news that seems to set her mind at ease. “Elizabeth, your relative has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.”

Then Mary responds, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

Today it is most fitting to look at Mary’s response to the will of God. To reflect on what God’s will means for us, in our lives today, as laity, as religious, as the ordained. Because God calls each of us—men and women, young and old, saints and sinners.

How can this be? you might ask. God calls me? Really? Yes … Nothing is impossible with God.

The painting of the Annunciation by Henry Tanner captures the expression of a typical 13-year-old girl being asked to do something way outside her comfort zone. What me? Really? Are you kidding?

Mary’s act of faith is then all the more extraordinary, beyond compare really. “Be it done to me according to your word.”

Mary is our advocate, our helper, and our benefactress not only in the highs and lows of our relationships and family life but also in matters of charism and call, and ultimately, our very salvation.

Who better to relate to our unbelief at God’s call than Mary who was told by an angel that she was called to bear the Son of the Most High?

How can it be? God didn’t call Mary to a convent or cloistered life. God called her to the messy stuff of human birthing and child-rearing in the midst of family, community, and temple life. So too are we called – called to be the light of God’s love and grace, the symbol of communion and unity in a messy world too often plagued with darkness and alienation.

We too, the People of God in the modern world, are called to surrender our lives and our wills to God just as completely and profoundly as the Blessed Virgin Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ponder it in your heart.

How can this be?

Nothing is impossible for God.

Blessings!

Out of Darkness, Lights!

As we begin the season of Advent, images of light emerging out of the darkness are all around us—Advent wreaths, candles, and of course, the warm glow of Christmas lights – sometimes lots of Christmas lights!

Last night, along with a crowd of family and friends, I had the privilege of witnessing the “big reveal” at 36 Hancock Court in South Setauket on Long Island. Kevin Liguori, my great-nephew, had orchestrated an amazing Christmas music and light show in the same tradition as his dad, Mike. This year Kevin took charge of the lights as his dad fights brain cancer. With his light and music show running every night through New Year’s, Kevin plans to raise money for the Brain Tumor Foundation and Cancer Care Center at New York University where his dad is being treated.

In a true community effort, Kevin was assisted first and foremost by director dad Mike, his grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and of course, his beautiful mom Christine and sister Jillian. In a touching tribute, Kevin eloquently dedicated this lighting to his dad and all who have brain cancer, then acknowledged and thanked all who helped, even Paul DeFina who shared some of the decorative “treasures” from his garage.

As the lights blazed and the jingle bells rocked, the blaring sound of sirens grew louder and louder. Down the dark street Santa emerged, not drawn by eight tiny reindeer but six towering red fire trucks. The reveal was complete! (And my sisters and I even got our picture taken with Santa Claus for the first time in a “few” years …decades even.)

Out of the darkness of winter comes the anticipation of Advent and the joy of Christmas. Out of the darkness of cancer comes the gifts of a caring young man and the family and friends that support his dad. Christmas lights and Christmas tunes have taken on a whole new meaning for me this year. Thank you, Kevin.

May we all join together in prayer for Mike, for his family, and for all of the families fighting cancer this Advent season.  

Blessings!

My Favorite Liturgy of the Year

I’m already looking forward to Mass on Thanksgiving morning (9:00AM at St. Joseph’s).

It always seems especially joyful and uplifting.

Perhaps it’s because everyone comes, sans any sense of obligation, with hearts ready to offer thanks to our generous and gracious God.

Perhaps it’s because everyone who comes longs for a focus on faith and spirituality on this otherwise secular holiday.

Perhaps they can’t wait for the family to gather to savor the feeling of community that comes with joining with others in prayer, song, and thanksgiving.

And then there are the special collections that take place. On Thanksgiving, people come here with gift cards to drop in the collection basket for families who will need help with groceries and gifts this Christmas. Everything collected on Thanksgiving goes toward our efforts to support these families, usually about 35 families with upwards of 100 children.

At the offertory, people spill out of their pews to cover the foot of the altar with food – bags and bags of non-perishables that are immediately whisked away after Mass by our Food Van ministers to our sisters and brothers in need downtown.

On no other morning are the words more true, “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad!”

May your heart be filled with gratitude this Thanksgiving!

Blessings!

Catholic Identity & JFK

I confess that my pre-school perspective on the assassination of our first Catholic president will forever be intertwined with memories of the ill-conceived “Fluffernutter” sandwich. 

On November 22, 1963, childhood friend Raymond Bauer and I spent the morning playing at his house. His mother—one of a handful of Protestants in our largely Catholic and Jewish Long Island suburb—served peanut butter and marshmallow Fluff for lunch. Though I really had trouble eating the sticky stuff, I got through it knowing that obediently eating our lunch would get as a trip to the local J.C. Penney Store. Pulling out of the driveway in their family station wagon, I was delighted when Mrs. Bauer turned on the car radio. My dad didn't like car radios so we never had one. A few split-levels away from the Bauer home, Raymond’s mother gasped and pulled over to listen to a news report. President John F. Kennedy had been shot. She took me home.

I was met by the very scene I expected. My mom was saying the Rosary in front of the TV as the news reports were coming in. It was comforting. Life as we knew it would not come to an end as long as Mom prayed the Rosary and she sympathized with me about having to eat that terrible sandwich. There was hope for the Kennedys, the country, and the religious melting pot of our immediate world.

And so this historic and tragic moment left me with a gift -- one of my clearest, earliest memories of my mother -- and one of my first moments of clarity that I was indeed grateful we were Catholic and had Mary to intercede for us in the worst moments of life.

May President Kennedy rest in peace, along with all the faithful departed.

Blessings!

Blest Are They

I don’t know why I continue to be surprised at the sense of community that happens when people come together for the purpose of learning something about their faith.

The “Brownbag Bible Study” group at St. Joe’s is no exception . Generally, when we come together for six weeks at a time to study a particular book of the Bible, or a saint as we did last month, the group is largely women. Most of us are, as our pastor would say, “on the back nine of life.” Each time we come together there often is a lone male who braves the group. For our first session of the Gospel of Matthew that was (appropriately) Matt. Today a second guy joined us, a young guy, Vince, one of our RCIA candidates. We were delighted to welcome him.

A few minutes after Vince arrived, our eldest participant arrived for the first time in months. Marian has had a few health setbacks recently so we were really delighted to welcome her back. Everything came to a standstill as she approached the room and got settled.

Between Vince and Marian is a span of about 70 years. Yet, each of them, and everyone in between, brings their unique gifts of faith, wisdom, and insatiable curiosity about Scripture and Catholic tradition. You’re never too young or too old.

As we focused today on the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew—the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes—a new beatitude became part of my prayer:

Blest are they who share faith with others; theirs is the nearness of God.

Blessings!

Ladies who Lunch

Today I have the privilege of lunching with my dear friend Millie who resides at the Clover Blossom Legacy in Brighton. This is one of the very best parts of being a pastoral associate at St. Joe’s – developing relationships with the senior members of the community and sharing in the special moments of their lives, and they in mine.

Millie has been an active parishioner of St. Joseph’s for decades. She and her late husband John met in the choir at St. Francis in downtown Rochester and were dedicated to many community organizations throughout the years of their long marriage, including activities and ministries at St. Joe’s—The 60+ Club and St. Joseph’s table celebrations each year;  John was a remarkable lector, Millie knits prayer shawls.

I treasure my special connections with Millie. She has welcomed me into her home in times of joy and sorrow, including praying with her family in John’s final days and the planning of his funeral; and the more recent loss of their beloved son-in-law, Ronnie, husband of her daughter, Marianne.

Millie also is part of my family – she was a wonderful friend to my daughter Laura when she interned at the Legacy. Laura was there to help organize activities for the residents with her co-worker Indira, who became her good friend. I look forward today to sharing pictures with Millie of Indira’s recent wedding to Ben. I know she’ll delight in Indira’s happiness and seeing Indira in her wedding gown and Laura as her maid of honor.

Yes, this is one of the very best parts of my ministry – what it’s all about really. Having time with people, one-on-one, for conversation, prayer, and a shared meal. It’s a lot different than the concept of “ladies who lunch” that I knew when I worked in Manhattan 20 years ago; I’ve been graced with the better part.

Relationship.

Prayer.

Love.

Who are the very special people in your life? Share your story.

Blessings!

St. Joe's Rocks!

St. Joseph’s Church rocks! It really does. This was the thought I had back in August when I attended Mass at the Church of the Nativity in Timonium, MD, the subject of the much-acclaimed book Rebuilt by pastor Fr. Michael White and pastoral associate Tom Corcoran. This is not a criticism of Nativity so much as a renewed appreciation for the vitality and leadership of our St. Joe’s Penfield, New York parishioners and the glory of our liturgy where the Gospel is made accessible for all to take into their hearts and Christian lives.

Recognizing that all churches and organizations have room for growth and enhancement, the St. Joe’s Parish Pastoral Council is reading and discussing Rebuilt. It has many best practices to offer to parishes in the areas of hospitality, faith formation, small groups, preaching, and music ministry.

Last night our Council meeting started with a gut check about members’ reactions to the book. In summary, what matters to our Council members is that we never lose focus on two things: the proclamation of the Gospel and our PEOPLE. ALL of our PEOPLE.  There’s no room here for the “mean-spirited” commentary about parishioners that is the serious flaw of Rebuilt.

Pastoral year seminarian Jorge Ramirez, a native of Colombia, beautifully articulated that we need to study the best practices of the Church of the Nativity in the context of where St. Joseph’s is as a parish community today. What are the needs of our people, of the community around us, now, in this time and place?

My prayer last night and today is one of gratitude to our gracious God because St. Joe’s really does rock! I am grateful for the diverse views of our many parishioners, for the leadership of our ministry teams, for our Council members, and for the fellow staff members with whom I have the opportunity every day to collaborate, to pray, and most importantly, to LAUGH!

I cannot conclude this first journal entry without another note of gratitude on behalf of St. Joe’s staff to my husband, Greg. For the past few weeks he’s been donating his time and talent in the social media arena to help us up our game on Twitter, Facebook, our website, and now our blogs. He’s the best.

Blessings to all!

Welcome!

I am excited to share my journal thoughts with you as a Pastoral Associate at St. Joseph's in Penfield.  Each time I post a new blog, I will let you know via Twitter and Facebook.  Please feel free to read, enjoy and comment.  Look for my first blog soon!