Christmas Eve & Its Evolving Traditions

The great thing about family traditions is that just as soon as you think you have one, they need to grow and evolve with the human beings who treasure them. And so it is with Christmas Eve.

I grew up with the tradition of going to bed on Christmas Eve, as the youngest in the household, only to be awoken a short time later by the sound of jingle bells and a ho-ho-ho, signaling Santa had arrived. My mom and dad had a tradition of opening Christmas gifts before going to bed on Christmas Eve.

Somewhere along the way came the tradition of a rich Italian feast on Christmas Eve, despite my mom being Irish and my dad being German. That may have been the influence of their Italian landlord during WWII who shared her cooking skills with my mom; and it probably was solidified by the arrival of my Italian brother-in-law, Paul, who became part of the family in the 1960s.

One of my favorite parts of Christmas was putting up the Nativity scene with my mom. And so a very special treasure in our home today is that very same Nativity, passed down to me when our kids were young. I still can’t part with the particular paper toweling my dad used to carefully wrap each beautiful figure when it was shipped from Florida to Rochester (even though I could never put it away as neatly as he packed it…)

The move for my girls and I from Long Island to Rochester in 1995 introduced us to more serious Italian traditions on Christmas Eve, most notably my mother-in-law Rosemary’s bacalhau (fried, salted cod).

But the biggest thing about Christmas Eve for our blended children—Sarah, Caroline, Laura, and Taylor—was that we had to find a creative solution to when Santa would arrive. And so the tradition began—Santa made our house his first stop so that when our four children woke up together on the morning of December 24, Santa had already come down the chimney and left a note explaining his special early delivery.

This worked especially well for me when I joined the parish ministry at St. Joseph’s and found myself as an active participant at Church for most of the joyous celebrations of the Eucharist at 2:00, 4:00, 6:00, 8:00 and midnight on Christmas Eve, and 9:00 and 11:00 on Christmas morning!

But this year, Taylor is in South Carolina. Laura is making her way home from Maryland. Others are working on Christmas Eve morning. A new tradition needs to evolve.

What better than to go back to the beginning? After we attend Christmas Eve Mass at St. Joseph’s, we will have a late Italian dinner and, still later, Laura, Caroline, Sarah and Ryan, Greg and I (and Cooper AND DAISY, of course) will gather around the tree to exchange gifts.  And thanks to the iPhone, Taylor will be with us via Facetime.

A new tradition in the making? Does it matter? All that’s really needed for a joyful Christmas celebration is lots of love, laughter, patience, and sometimes a bit of creativity. And the light of Christ coming into the world at the center of it all.

Waiting for the sound of jingle bells and a ho-ho-ho.

Christmas blessings!

Prayer for Our Families

Last Advent, it seemed my sisters and I had many things on our minds and in our prayers—hopes and fears and always gratitude for the many ways in which we have been blessed.

Borrowing from a few different sources, I came up with a prayer that we could share, words that would bring us together in prayer even though we live 400 miles apart.

This year my sister Jane is framing the prayer for some of her friends. She got the creative gene that seemed to pass me by and she’s framing them with beautiful scrapbooking paper, colored ink, etc. What I lack in craft skills, hopefully I can make up in my desire to share this prayer beyond my own family to all families who wish to pray together, even when not together.

And while I know all of our prayers were answered in one way or another, and other urgent needs arose over the course of the year, there is no more tangible sign of God’s life and love in our family than Jane’s precious grandson, for whom she so fervently prayed this time last year. Tommy, born this past July, most certainly is the answer to our 2012 Advent prayers. May you know the answer to your prayers with as much joy in the coming year!

Prayer for Our Family

Loving God,

We praise and thank you

for the gift of our beloved parents,

siblings, spouses and loved ones,

children, grandchildren, and

those yet to be born into this world.

We cherish them all.

Surround them with your tender loving care,

teach them to serve one another

in true affection and

to trust in you for all their needs.

We place them all in your care,

knowing that your love for them

is so much greater than our own.

Keep us close to one another in this life

and guide us at the last to our true

and heavenly home in your presence.

Blessed be God and

blessed be our family forever.

Amen.

Blessings!

Cathy

How Can It Be?

Today we celebrate the feast of the Immaculate Conception. It’s a great day to ponder Mary’s response to the angel Gabriel, and to her Lord, in the annunciation narrative from Luke.

“In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.

 And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.”  

But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.  

Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.  Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”  

But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”

And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.”

How can this be? Mary understandably makes the case that she cannot be with child because she has not yet been with a man. What a simple response Gabriel has for her: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.”

I might still have asked, How can this be?

But not Mary. She listens, and listens some more. Finally she hears more amazing news that seems to set her mind at ease. “Elizabeth, your relative has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.”

Then Mary responds, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

Today it is most fitting to look at Mary’s response to the will of God. To reflect on what God’s will means for us, in our lives today, as laity, as religious, as the ordained. Because God calls each of us—men and women, young and old, saints and sinners.

How can this be? you might ask. God calls me? Really? Yes … Nothing is impossible with God.

The painting of the Annunciation by Henry Tanner captures the expression of a typical 13-year-old girl being asked to do something way outside her comfort zone. What me? Really? Are you kidding?

Mary’s act of faith is then all the more extraordinary, beyond compare really. “Be it done to me according to your word.”

Mary is our advocate, our helper, and our benefactress not only in the highs and lows of our relationships and family life but also in matters of charism and call, and ultimately, our very salvation.

Who better to relate to our unbelief at God’s call than Mary who was told by an angel that she was called to bear the Son of the Most High?

How can it be? God didn’t call Mary to a convent or cloistered life. God called her to the messy stuff of human birthing and child-rearing in the midst of family, community, and temple life. So too are we called – called to be the light of God’s love and grace, the symbol of communion and unity in a messy world too often plagued with darkness and alienation.

We too, the People of God in the modern world, are called to surrender our lives and our wills to God just as completely and profoundly as the Blessed Virgin Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ponder it in your heart.

How can this be?

Nothing is impossible for God.

Blessings!

Out of Darkness, Lights!

As we begin the season of Advent, images of light emerging out of the darkness are all around us—Advent wreaths, candles, and of course, the warm glow of Christmas lights – sometimes lots of Christmas lights!

Last night, along with a crowd of family and friends, I had the privilege of witnessing the “big reveal” at 36 Hancock Court in South Setauket on Long Island. Kevin Liguori, my great-nephew, had orchestrated an amazing Christmas music and light show in the same tradition as his dad, Mike. This year Kevin took charge of the lights as his dad fights brain cancer. With his light and music show running every night through New Year’s, Kevin plans to raise money for the Brain Tumor Foundation and Cancer Care Center at New York University where his dad is being treated.

In a true community effort, Kevin was assisted first and foremost by director dad Mike, his grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and of course, his beautiful mom Christine and sister Jillian. In a touching tribute, Kevin eloquently dedicated this lighting to his dad and all who have brain cancer, then acknowledged and thanked all who helped, even Paul DeFina who shared some of the decorative “treasures” from his garage.

As the lights blazed and the jingle bells rocked, the blaring sound of sirens grew louder and louder. Down the dark street Santa emerged, not drawn by eight tiny reindeer but six towering red fire trucks. The reveal was complete! (And my sisters and I even got our picture taken with Santa Claus for the first time in a “few” years …decades even.)

Out of the darkness of winter comes the anticipation of Advent and the joy of Christmas. Out of the darkness of cancer comes the gifts of a caring young man and the family and friends that support his dad. Christmas lights and Christmas tunes have taken on a whole new meaning for me this year. Thank you, Kevin.

May we all join together in prayer for Mike, for his family, and for all of the families fighting cancer this Advent season.  

Blessings!